At Last!

23 04 2012

So now, after years (literally!) of being pulled every which way to the lure of every specialty, I found a niche.  And from now on, when people ask me the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I will have an answer that isn’t a smart-alec diversion away from the topic.

I want to be a pediatrician.

[[This kid is super excited someone as cool as me will be taking care of kids like him one day.  Either that, or someone offered him ice cream]]

And of all things, this sort of came to me almost two weeks ago at about 4:30 am, while I was working the night shift, and after I’d just admitted my 10th asthmatic patient.  Walking up the stairwell from the ED, I remember thinking to myself “Self, I like this, and I really think I would be okay leaving all other specialties behind.”  I brushed it off at first, but the idea has rooted firmly in my mind in a way that no other specialty has.

There’s something a little scary about answering that question of what specialty you want to go into honestly once you actually have decided.  I have spent so long being undecided and changed my mind so many times that I’m almost hesitant to tell people.  I don’t know why, maybe because I know that the people around me will evaluate me more critically.  Maybe it’s because I am nervous that somehow I won’t get into a residency program and will have to do psych or family (which, with all due respect, have lower average USMLE step 1 scores).  Realistically, I don’t have anything to worry about, but the thoughts still occur.

Anywhoo, it’s nice because I’ve been putting off looking into residency programs until I figured out my life, but over the weekend, that search officially commenced.  It felt really great to finally be taking a positive step in my future.

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One response

23 04 2012
ahyesplans

Congratulations! That must be a great feeling, to finally be able to look into programs and envision your life. 🙂 Can’t wait to hear more about it!

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